And I Thought I Would Have One of the Greatest Bake...

...later this year but it seems I've been unsuccessful indeed.

'Twas a harrowing week for us, I was 18 weeks pregnant but I was spotting and leaking liquid (definitely not urine) so I went to see my doctor on Monday morning. I was ordered to check into the hospital immediately for an emergency operation that very noon. I had a cervical circulage performed to hold my womb and ordered to be bed bound. I was told that the procedure need to be observed for the next 48 hours.

Darn!!! Hubby and I was all geared up to attend the Kylie Kwong dinner on Tuesday which hubby had won via the Astro contest! Sighhh so I asked him to go alone that evening instead after calling several friends who can't make it. Whilst hubby was checking with a friend if she can go with him, I experienced a gush a water leaked out. I frantically signalled for him and the nurse rushed in to check. Judging from her face and the midwife's, things doesn't look very rosy. We waited for doc to arrive.

Whilst waiting, since I've experienced a water bag burst scenario during giving birth to boiboi, I knew deeply inside that nothing can be done to save the baby. I grieved and prepared myself for the bad news to come but poor hubby, he was not. True enough, it seems that the fluid in my womb had already been infected.

I was sent to the delivery room by late afternoon. I was given drips to induce the fetus. Since doc said it will be like about a 2 hours thingy, I decided to be a heroine and did not opt for any pain killer. The contractions were frequent and was getting painful by the minutes. My mom and aunt came to the room to check on me. I knew they were pained from seeing me in that kinda condition. They were busy praying for a smooth and fast one. My boiboi was at my room thinking he can visit me but we disallowed him to come over to the delivery room. I don't want him to see me in that kinda trauma. I soooo missed him at that moment.

We sent the family back since we are not sure how long the wait will be. One of the midwives said there was one case few days back where the lady actually waited 2 days to deliver the fetus!!! OMG that really zonked me out... 2 blardy days? I can't be in pain for 2 days plus hubby's reiki wasn't so effective as the night wore on, so I ordered for the pethidine jab. Boy, am so glad. At least the pain was gone for 2 hours and I managed to rest whilst drifting in and out of drowsiness.

It was quite close to midnite when I started to feel some kinda contraction at my lower ab. I thought my pethidine is wearing out but somehow I wasn't just sure. I felt something is poking out down there. Got in the midwife and she checked... hurrah it's time.

The next thing I knew, the 2 midwives and a nurse on duty came in to help out. Later we found out we were the only case that night, hence full attention were given by the 3 of them. Doc is on the way. I think fetus was fully delivered by 11.53pm on 10 June 2008. Thank goodness it was nothing like giving birth to a full term baby. It was smooth and fast. Thank you Lord Buddha.

Doc came and managed to get the placenta out within the next 15-20 mins. It was all over...

I had a glance at the fetus and said bye bye in my heart before hubby pushed me down. Hubby spent some time reciting prayers and chanted Om Mani Padme Hum many times over to the fetus. He told me baby looked like boiboi and it was hard for him to have the image out until even the next couple of days. Yes yes, boiboi was going to have a little brother but boiboi told me don't worry, and ask me make another one for him after we broke him the news yesterday. He ordered me to make him a mei mei next time hehe... but that's another story.

I'm documenting this, well not to scare those who wants to conceive. I hope this is part of our closure in having tee tee with us for 18 weeks... all those initial fear, anxiety, joy, pain and hope. Well, I did not broke the news earlier about my pregnancy here since it wasn't an easy start after all. We're all coping well but it would be a lie if I were to say it's going to be easy for me, hubby, boiboi (I doubt he would have understand much about life and death but it's good to know there were some good questions from him) and the rest of the family. I guess time will heal us all unlike the previous occassion.

With this we bid tee tee farewell. May he be blessed with compassion, love and a brighter future.

Note: I thank in advance for all your well wishes for I may not be accessing the net on a daily basis. It's a pain to surf at my parents but I hope their streamyx line won't conk out whilst I'm there. I'm on semi confinement thingy at the moment, drinking in all those urrghhh hot soup with pepper/ginger/herbs. It's not a pleasant experience in this sweltering weather, oh please help! Can someone please perform rain dance or something on a daily basis for the next few weeks?